SQUAD Magazine’s December 2025 Astro Report

By Stella Luna

Your cosmic tea, poured piping hot a lil’ storytelling magic.

♈ Aries — The Main Character Energy Surge

December hits and suddenly you’re the protagonist of a holiday rom-com. Mars is hyping you up like a bestie yelling “yasss king/queen/deity” from the sidelines.

You’re bold, chaotic, charismatic… basically unstoppable.

Plot twist: A random DM from someone you thought was gone pops up mid-scroll. Do with this information what you will.

♉ Taurus — Cozy Era Activated

You’re entering your “soft life but make it intentional” chapter. Picture candles, velvet blankets, lo-fi playlists, and a vague sense of achievement.

Cosmic story arc: Venus gives you the urge to redecorate your space again. Will your bank account protest?

Yes. Will you ignore it? Also yes.

♊ Gemini — Social Butterfly Rebirth

You’re the winter WiFi—everyone wants a connection. Your phone legit won’t stop buzzing. Narrative development: A collab opportunity (art, business, podcast, chaotic group chat energy—dealer’s choice) drops into your lap.

Just avoid gossip side quests; Mercury is messy this month.

♋ Cancer — Emotional But Make It Fashion

December turns you into a sentimental mastermind. You’re serving cozy, reflective, “I’m healing but cute” vibes.Plot point: Someone tries to trauma-dump at a holiday party. Protect your peace.

Redirect with, “I hear you, but let’s discuss after the gingerbread.”

♌ Leo — Spotlight? You ARE the spotlight.

The cosmic camera pans to you and suddenly you’re giving full influencer arc.

Unexpected cameo: A secret admirer soft-launches their feelings.

Will you hard-launch back? TBD.

You’re magnetic, dramatic (in a good way), and honestly the universe is obsessed with you.

♍ Virgo — Holiday Productivity Slay

You’re color-coding gift lists, reorganizing your soul, and micro-managing vibes.

Story twist: The moment you schedule everything, life says “haha nope” and throws a spontaneous invite that turns out to be iconic.

Be open to improv—it suits you more than you think.

♎ Libra — Romantic Subplot Intensifies

December is basically a flirtation montage for you. Soft lighting, cute selfies, and a mysterious cutie offering you a peppermint mocha.

But: You might overthink one text for 48 hours. Please don’t.

The vibe is giving “just send the message, bestie.”

♏ Scorpio — Main Character in a Winter Thriller

Your intuition goes full 4K HD. Nothing gets past you.Spicy development: You learn something low-key shocking (not dramatic, just tea). Use it wisely.

Also, big glow-up energy—like “post-credits scene reveal” glow-up.

♐ Sagittarius — Chaotic Joyride Season

It’s your birthday month (or close enough) so the universe gives you a cosmic confetti cannon.Side quest: A sudden travel or spontaneous plan appears. Lean in.

December wants you feral, free, and laughing too hard for anyone to take a good photo.

♑ Capricorn — Professional Slay Mode

You’re booked, busy, and blessed—but in a cool, non-corporate way.Plot arc: A project you thought flopped actually starts popping off.

Still: please remember to touch grass and drink water, CEO of Everything.

♒ Aquarius — Quirky Genius Cinematic Universe

Your brain is basically on director’s cut mode—ideas everywhere.Storyline alert: A random convo leads to a top-tier epiphany. Like “change your entire 2026 trajectory” level.

Lean into weirdness. It’s your superpower.

♓ Pisces — Dreamy Holiday Lore

You’re the whimsical background music in everyone’s life this month.

Plot twist: A dream (literal or metaphorical) hits you with meaning so loud it’s practically subtitled.

You’re also extra magical—don’t be surprised if you accidentally manifest something cute.

✨ Final Credits Scene: December 2025 is giving whimsy, plot twists, soft chaos, main character arcs, and a dash of “I didn’t plan for this but okay universe pop off.”Grab your peppermint latte, put on your favorite playlist, and let the cosmic drama unfold.

About the Author

Stella Luna

Astrologer, Punk Rocker, and Paleontologist. 

Stella Luna channels cosmic wisdom through her punk rock vibe, seamlessly merging celestial mystique with a rebellious flair, while by day, she digs into the Earth's ancient past as a dedicated paleontologist.